Latest Blots

Patrol responded to an alarm at a local business, arriving to discover a broken window and a stolen cash register. A nearby witness reported observing two suspects fleeing in a dark-colored sedan. Despite a thorough search of the area with K-9 assistance, the suspects remained at large. Officers noted that the business had been the target of similar break-ins in the past, prompting an investigation into potential security lapses and connections to previous incidents.

Dispatch logs indicate an irate caller reported a stolen vehicle, adding "I hope the dirtbag gets a flat tire." Further inquiries revealed the "stolen" auto was simply parked around the corner from the caller's residence, keys still inside. The officer on the scene suspects the caller's caffeine intake may have fueled the erroneous report.

An individual, described as a "flaming narcissist," was detained after an altercation with a neighbor over a disputed boundary line. The suspect, who claimed to possess "a photographic memory," proceeded to launch into a lengthy and rambling monologue, recalling every perceived slight and insult endured since the dawn of time. Despite an attempt by officers to maintain order, the suspect's egocentric tirade continued unabated, leaving neighbors and officers alike questioning whether the arrest was for a zoning violation or a mental health crisis.

On May 9th, at approximately 3:42 AM, officers responded to a call regarding a disturbance at a local fast-food restaurant. Upon arrival, officers discovered an intoxicated male patron who had climbed up onto the counter and was aggressively demanding extra ketchup for his fries. Despite repeated requests from the staff to desist and leave, the male continued his tirade. Officers were forced to subdue the male and escort him out of the establishment. The male was issued a citation for disorderly conduct and, once sober, will likely face a temporary ban from the restaurant for his ketchup-fueled antics.

Officer responded to a disturbance call involving excessive noise. Upon arrival, multiple subjects were encountered engaged in a heated argument outside of a residence. One of the individuals had reportedly been "yelling at the top of their lungs" and had thrown a beer can, striking a parked vehicle. Several neighbors had contacted authorities to report the disturbance. After separating the subjects and gathering statements, Officer issued a citation to the disruptive individual for disorderly conduct and impounded the subject's vehicle.